A few weeks ago I wrote about Blurred Lines and Cabin Fever. I’d like to revisit the same sort of topic/theme. Why? Well, I went to the office today to pick up some supplies and realized how much I miss being in the office.
*gasp* But I thought you liked working from home!? You even said how much you enjoy making hot lunches and having no commute to work.
Let me be clear, I do thoroughly enjoy working from home. There are far too many benefits. Just to name a few: No commute, Pj pants, hot lunch, my cat, my own bathroom, no parking/traffic hassle, no office phone requests, etc…
Here’s what I really miss about working in the office. I miss being able to distinguish when I am working and when I am home relaxing. Often I feel compelled to work earlier or later than my normal working hours. Today, I have felt extra anxious about my work duties vs. home life. I believe this is the first sign that I need a staycation soon.
Perhaps, I’m feeling overworked because the lines are truly blurred as work seems to always be on my mind. I’m sure I can’t be the only one who feels this way or similar. Stay well folks.
Advice– Take some time to yourself to truly disconnect from work. Turn off your email notifications. Go outside. Most of all take care of yourself.
I feel dazed as contact with reality is partially lost.
Loss of vacations, In office work, birthday celebrations, graduations – even your touch.
Life is lived in the details, with no mercy in sight — This is our great loss.
Anxiety ridden thoughts I’m afraid of: being sick, dying alone, the end never comes, no sense of normalcy.
During the bombings, in the bunker I socialized we all shared the same fate.
Uncertainty leaves us no courage and broken down.
Life outside is a gamble. I don’t want to be that body.
This poem was inspired by two opinion videos I watched on The New York Times where I used majority of the lines spoken to form this Cento.
Messages From Quarantine by Niccolo Natali and Nikola Lorenzin really hit home because we are all at a big loss. We are all broken and living with a high level of uncertainty.
We’re All Grieving. This is How We Get Through It. By Nayeema Raza spoke to me because we all are experiencing a sense of anxiety. Our lives were cancelled/disrupted by this pandemic with no clear vision that this will ever end. This should not stop us in our tracks. We still need to celebrate with each other.
House Arrest has now gone on for a month. Each crevice is cleaned six times over and then once more for good measure. Laundry hung, no more mismatched socks. Everything has a place now even the junk closet I have is organized.
While digging through the treasures buried within I pulled out a dusty tattered box. I opened it up to reveal a worn gold looking instrument. Memories began to flood back to me:
Marching – left, left, left right left; “A yellow bird…”
Halftime shows – nerves shot always, uniform on, hat straight, I’m going to puke
Band Camp: Hot summers, hours of practicing, field shows perfected, on your toes, “This one time at band camp…”
Band Competitions: Kanckle, cheese fries, 9/11, Queen, The Beatles, Endless bus rides
St. Louis trip
Parades – frozen fingers and faces, fair rides
I played the alto and tenor saxophone for 7 years. I wanted to quit after middle school but that would let my amazing teacher down, so I decided to continue through high school. Plus this made moving to a new state, new town semi-easier to make friends. Looking back now, I should have spent more hours practicing to gain more confidence to continue through college.
This old beauty needs to be serviced: new pads, cork, mouth piece, oil, brackets and a good shine will make her good as new. At one point I started to compose a piece but not knowing music theory I felt that it wasn’t good enough so I stopped. I locked her up in her case never to be heard from again.
I only know when it’s Monday and when it’s Friday. The other days tend to be jumbled. If it wasn’t for my calendar being filled with meetings and reminders (Thank Goodness!) for said meetings, I’d be at a loss right about now. My inbox grows daily because what would have been in person conversations have now taken to email.
Fact: Email threads aren’t always fun.
It has been all hands on deck the last few days trying to push out a project which involved way too many hands if you’re asking me but its for a great cause so I shall not gripe too much. Typically what’s supposed to take 4 weeks to prepare for essentially has been done in a matter of 4 days! Long hours plus some time on the weekend to get the project going calls for some interesting time.
Fact: When push comes to shove, the work will get done.
I went back to the Office today to grab some supplies, it was quite nostalgic. Almost like a home away from home feeling. But I think I’m adjusting to working from home, because now I get to use a Yoga ball for a chair (which I’ve wanted to do for a while now). Now in zoom meetings not only will my cat make an appearance but I will be bouncing or trying go maintain my balance. That should keep things interesting. I can’t wait until this pandemic is over so I can finally break some bread with my coworkers again.
The last 24 hours have been something out of a movie. When I stay at home (which I do 90% of the time), its just me. Occasionally I’ll see the neighbors walk their dogs or run around, however they aren’t wearing masks or gloves when doing so.
Yesterday I had to get some milk and eggs as I had ran out. Store shelves are still kinda empty at least for toilet paper and paper towels. Stickers on the floor advising people to keep a safe distance of 6ft at the checkout lanes.
What was more eerie to me was seeing people in face masks and gloves. I’ve seen news articles in the past (pre-covid-19) of cities, in China for example, where people often wear face masks regularly. For this to have gotten here and expand to everyone in public should be wearing protective face masks and gloves was a wake up call.
When I was in the store, I felt a bit out of place — as if I missed the memo. I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t wearing a mask or protective gear, but I still felt like a rebel. Ever since I got back from the store I’ve asked myself should I be wearing a mask?
My mom says I should because I live in a high impact area but she also thinks I should go back home until things calm down. There are only 3 confirmed cases back home meanwhile there are over 1,000 confirmed cases with my area code being the highest hit.
I’m thinking that I just take things one day at a time. I’m sure I can create a makeshift face mask to conceal my face and lowering my chances of getting the virus. I think my biggest fear is infecting my family because I do see them on the weekends.
Since I’ve started working from home there are some perks to the job. The obvious ones are: relaxed attire, making your own lunches, no pesky co-workers/boss lurking around, you’re at home but I think one of the better perks to come out of this is the commute. That’s right, I said commute.
I still awake at the same prior to working from home; however, I no longer have to drive to work which saves me up to 2 hours of time. At first, I was watching a T.V. show on Hulu or Netflix but then that was mundane for those 2 hours. Now, I’m reading my books. I’m finding myself wanting to read more often than watch a movie or T.V. show. Which reinforces my goal for 2020: read more books.
I’ve also joined a book club which has been quite fun as I am able to discuss and connect with people without physically being in the same room, because you know house arrest. (Oh which has been extended for my area until the end of April).